Dr. Troper's Lonely Clocks Club Band
Dr. Troper's Lonely Clocks Club Band is the twenty-first episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!, though it was the twenty-second produced. In this episode, Dr. Nefarious Tropy realises that neither Cortex nor any of his minions actually understand him, and thus he quits his job to look for new friends. Plot Summary It's a very special day on Cortex Island - it's Dr. Nefarious Tropy's 427th birthday, and Cortex has rented out Brio Hotel's banquet hall for the party! Cortex is excited. He's pulled out all the stops for this one. Banners! Streamers! Teddy bears! Tee-bone steaks! Diet Wumpa Cola! A cake shaped like a football! He's even donned an abnormally festive persona, that of Dr. Neo Confettitex! Confettitex asks Tropy if he's enjoying his party, to which he half-heartedly lies that he is. Everyone gathers around to give Tropy his gifts. Rilla Roo got him a pacifier. It features super kung-fu sucking action! Ripper Roo got him Ayn Randicoot's classic Wumpjectivist novel, Atlas Spin-Attacked. Tropy can't even begin to parse it, but Ripper Roo expected as much. Birthday Bill and Labour Day Larry gave him their old lab coats, which they haven't worn in ages. Brio got him a beaker. It's empty, though, because Brio already drank it last week. It turned him into a paperweight! Dingodile gave him a fire hose. It's just like the one Dingy himself uses! Pinstripe got him a cannonball. No cannon to go with it, though, he's not willing to give any away. N. Gin got him his latest invention: the Amazing Anything-Getting Omni-Pass Device, That Never Fails at Retrieving Something Nice, To Inject Your Existence with a Bit of Spice, Because Birthdays Are Rarer Than Ivory Dice, Only Once Per Year or Occasionally Twice, So Relax with a Mouth-Watering Little Slice, of Anything You Want Within This Limited Price, of Three Grains of Pure Wild White Rice! It's a gift card, with a really low limit. Tiny got him the prototype for Cortex's latest invention, the Eggert Ray! Confettitex refuses to let this happen again, and grounds Tiny for life, of course. Finally, Confettitex gives Tropy his gift. It's a quilt. Confettitex made it himself! Everyone is shocked when Tropy starts weeping. His friends, his very best friends in the whole wide world, know nothing about him! Tropy reluctantly tells Confettitex that he's quitting. Confettitex reflexively says he can't quit, because he's fired. For life! As Tropy runs off with big cartoony tears in his eyes, Uka Uka pops up to yell at Confettitex for ruining Tropy's birthday party scheme. Confettitex fires back, saying that Uka Uka certainly didn't help matters by not even bothering to get Tropy a gift! Uka Uka is stunned. Confettitex was right. Uka apologises to Confettitex, and they share a hug. That night, Tropy is sitting alone on a park bench. He is loudly complaining about his conundrum. Why can't anyone take an interest in his love of clocks and time? "Clocks and time, you say?", asks a perfectly mysterious Greek stranger with yellow skin. It's Dr. Negatory Oobening (Special Guest Star Mark Linn-Baker)! He's started a support group for ostracised time lord doctors from all around the world. Tropy is intrigued. For just one thousand dollars, Oobening says, Tropy can join his group, too. Tropy quickly runs downtown to the 24-Hour First N-tional Bank to apply for a loan from Banker Bill and Lonely Shark Larry. They talk it over for a second, before proudly announcing that he's been Wumproved! Tropy is excited, because now he can finally move on with his life. In the background, Dr. Oobening just laughs in the background. Meanwhile, Crashie is eagerly waiting beside Aku Aku, who is now functioning as the Bandicoots' mailbox. Coco strolls by, and asks what Crash is waiting for. Crash explains, in flashback form, that six weeks ago a mysterious Swedish-accented door-to-door salesman convinced Crash into dropping a hundred bucks on a 12-month subscription to WV Guide. Within this flashback, we enter a trippy dream sequence, wherein Crashie frolics with issue #1 of WV Guide! An army of Wumpavision Robots surround him, but the WV Guide pulls out the Wumpmote and, using its extensive knowledge of what's on, turns every last Wumpavision Robot to a different show - and they're all shows that Crash likes! WV Guide sure does make Wumpavision viewing even awesomer, Crashie thought, as we return to the non-dreamy present. But his first issue of WV Guide still hasn't arrived! Coco tells Crash that he probably got scammed by a con artist. Crash is furious! His dreams of frolicking in Wumpavision paradise, squashed! For once, he is not lazy. He has but one thought on his mind: REVENGE. He grabs Aku Aku and leaps off the nearest cliff, using Aku as a hang-glider to fly off into the sunset. Coco questions this action, as Crash has no idea where he's even supposed to go. The next day, Dr. Negatory Oobening is holding the first meeting of the timelord support group. Tropy is introduced to the other members of the group. There's Dr. Napoleon Dovetime (Kevin Michael Richardson), a red fellow fascinated with the distant future where clocks have ceased to exist. There's Dr. Nanson Utehand (Jim Cummings), a blue chap who's so obsessed with time that he doesn't just divide time into broad eras, but rather into even the smallest of time units. There's Dr. Nellibelle Traction (Tara Charendoff), a pink lady who's sexy by Saturday morning cartoons, but is contradictorily smart with any and all time-based subjects. And then there's Dr. Tiny Tiger, an orange lad who doesn't understand time at all, but thought this sounded like more fun than being grounded. Tropy asks where Tiny got a thousand dollars. Tiny says he'd saved it up in his piggy bank. He used every last penny he had in there to pay his way into the group! In a weird cutaway, it is revealed that Tiny's "piggy bank" is actually Dr. N. Gin, who is distinctly annoyed at Tiny constantly putting pennies in his missile. Tropy starts talking to his new friends, and finds that he has a lot in common with them. For once, he feels happy and content with the people around him. Well, except for Tiny. Tropy plans a field trip to the end of time with Dr. Napoleon Dovetime. Tropy discusses the most important minutes in history with Dr. Nanson Utehand. Tropy asks Dr. Nellibelle Traction out on a time date and, for the first time in his life, he is not turned down by a woman! A mere hour into the meeting, he finds himself weeping - but this time, they're tears of joy. Suddenly, Dr. Negatory Oobening interrupts the meeting, to announce that tomorrow's meeting will include an ultra-fancy gold-plated time luncheon. The entry fee is only $100,000 each! Tropy and Tiny quickly run downtown to the 24-hour First N-tional Bank to apply for a joint loan from Banker Bill. Tiny asks where Larry is, and Bill responds that he's on a sabattical from work. Tiny just nods. In his head, we see that he misinterpreted this as "snow bicycle", apparently. Anyway, enough small talk - Banker Bill declares that they're both Wumproved for $100,000 loans! They quickly run back to the support group, and give Oobening the money. Oobening just grins maliciously. Meanwhile, Crash is stranded in the middle of the ocean. He is using Aku Aku as a canoe, with his feathers as oars. Aku asks if this is really worth the trouble, to which Crash intensely replies that IT IS! Suddenly, Lonely Shark Larry swims up to them, and asks if they'll be his friends. Because he's lonely. Crashie refuses, but Aku Aku suggests that he will, if Larry can lead them to dry land. Larry agrees, and tells them to follow him, as he does that weird upright swimming thing that dolphins do. (The writers don't know the difference!) Meanwhile, the meeting is almost over. Tropy is sad about having to say goodbye to his friends for now. Tropy is, however, thrilled about having to say goodbye to Tiny for now. Dovetime, Utehand, and Traction all agree that they'll miss Tropy, too. Oobening, however, doesn't suffer from such emotionality. He tells everyone it's time to leave, pronto. As they're all heading for the door, however, a soaking-wet Crashie bursts in! Oobening sees him, and panics. Tropy asks Oobening what's wrong, to which he nervously replies, "Nothing", though this obviously isn't true. Crash wonders why he said that in a Greek accent instead of a Swedish one. Aku Aku's lightbulb feather lights up, because he just put it all together! The mysterious salesman and the charismatic timelord are one and the same - he's nothing more than a travelling con man who takes money from losers by appealing to their most desperate of needs. For Crash, it was Wumpavision. For Tropy, Dovetime, Utehand, and Traction, it was clockpanionship. (It is unexplained why Aku Aku knows their names.) Everywhere Dr. Negatory Oobening goes, it's always a new beginning! Oobening protests that this isn't true, but the others know it's the truth. Except for Tiny, who doesn't understand and asks Aku Aku to re-explain. Aku says he will, later. Tropy, Dovetime, Utehand, and Traction are sad, and wrathful, and all pull out their magical crystal tuning forks, which glow and suddenly combine forces into a giant magical crystal tuning monster! Oobening unwisely engages it in hand-to-hand combat. He is beaten up quite badly. However, he still has enough energy left to attempt an escape. But Crashie won't let him get away so easily! He grabs Aku Aku and pulls out his Grenade Pin Feather. He then throws Aku Aku at Oobening, resulting in a massive explosion! The charred remains of Dr. Oobening finally admit his crimes, and Oobening gives everyone's money back. Traction sexily says that even though Oobening was a con man, they should all be thankful nonetheless that he brought them all together. Tropy, Utehand, and Dovetime all agree that they still need to stay in touch somehow. Suddenly, Cortex arrives. It seems he doesn't know how to operate the Time Twister on his own. He sheepishly admits that he kind of really needs Tropy's help for his next ultra-evil scheme. Tropy says he's willing to go back, now that he actually has friends outside of work. Meanwhile, Uka Uka is at the 24-Hour First N-tional Bank, yelling at Banker Bill and Lonely Shark Larry for failing at the "not giving out loans to every single person who walks in, regardless of their financial instability" scheme! Larry panics, but Bill proposes to automatically Wumprove Uka for a huge loan, if he'll stop yelling at them. He agrees. Meanwhile, in Cortex Castle, Tiny is obnoxiously trying to stuff his $101,000 inside N. Gin's missile, to the latter's obvious chagrin. N. Gin keeps himself sane, by musing that the children at home should never talk to strangers without first asking to see their ID.